| Is there anybody going to listen to my story? |
[01 Jan 2009|12:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungover! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Lisa's mix |
] |
So. My New Years Eve. We threw a party. I poured schnapps and chocolate syrup down people's throats and danced a ton. I drank nothing but champagne and jello shots, which I found out later = throwing up in the shower and worst hangover ever. We went to the bar after the party. I wrote an embarrassing note on my receipt for the bartender I have a crush on, and stole a beer while they were stocking the bar. I had to CRAWL to the shower when I got home. When I awoke, my shirt was backwards and inside out and I had no memory of putting it on. And I couldn't find my glasses. CRUNK TIMES.
Onward, to 2009. And by 2009 I mean the Vortex with Charlie and Lisa.
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| Somewhere in her smile she knows |
[11 Dec 2008|02:47am] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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all iTunes songs with "Something" in the title |
] |
Lisa and I are engaged now.
I was looking at this picture of me that Liz took, wearing Olivia's green hoodie in downtown Decatur, pretending to kick this smashed pot. I don't even remember that. I remember it, but I can't remember how it felt. I have no memory of that self. All pictures of me that I see from the past two or three years, they look so alien. I have no memory of that person. It feels strange. It's sort of like it never happened.
But it doesn't particularly matter. Finals are done, thank god. Perhaps I oughtta get laid again.
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| I can't live, if living is without you |
[24 Nov 2008|12:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nick's band |
] |
It gets old to whine about, but I really wish I was done with school already. Sheesh. It's taking forever.
The biggest obstacle I face day-to-day in giving a shit about anything is that everyone is full of shit. Everyone is just completely full of shit. Conversation is my least favorite of all activities. I have nothing left to say. There is nothing I want to hear. It's all fucking retarded-ass bull shit. All the time.
It makes me crawl deeper and deeper into my own head, and it gets lonely.
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| That's just like, your opinion, man |
[04 Nov 2008|01:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chill |
] |
| [ |
music |
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mix for Stefanie, in progress |
] |
Thank god, sometimes, for professors who see beyond the staleness of the classroom. Today in Urban Geography we walked around outside in the beautiful weather, observing public spaces and the interaction that goes on. Freaking gorgeous and stimulating. It's good to appreciate the city again. And people. And reality in general.
My socks never match, and I thought about that today when I took my shoes off and took a nap in the student center.
I appreciate so many things in life, even if I have to be frequently sedated to get by on a day-to-day basis.
Someone tried to steal my car on Friday night, for those who haven't heard, and now the ignition is fucked. So I'm on foot for awhile.
I bought a winter coat today and I'm goin' to Chicago in nine days!
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| You are the light that's leading me |
[30 Jul 2008|12:26am] |
|
"There must be some kinda way out of here," said the joker to the thief.
I do believe Nick Leng is going to be our new roommate. Fun times.
I hate college so much it makes me want to GOUGE MY EYES OUT OF MY SKULL WITH A SPOON. But summer school will be over in about four days and then I can finally fucking BREATHE and take a good hard look at my life. Fourteen classes to go, Jesus Christ...
I still haven't seen the new Batman movie. Because, you know, work and school devour my SOUL. But that will be another groovy thing I get to do when summer school ends.
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| Get down, deeper and down |
[19 Apr 2008|04:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 kickin it (plus horny) |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Spice Girls |
] |
So we watched Spiceworld.
And I really just want to know, when are platform shoes coming back?
I would probably almost definitely get "mind fuck" tattooed on my knuckles if I wasn't going to be a teacher someday.
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| I'm a bad man, coz I don't even miss her |
[23 Jan 2008|11:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Metric |
] |
So let me describe my Sunday night. I went to this party and had a really stellar time. So stellar in fact that I told my ride to leave without me because I wasn't ready. About an hour later the next people who offered me a ride were leaving and I still wasn't ready, so I told them to go on without me as well. My THIRD opportunity for a ride came up not too much later, and I still wasn't ready to go, but there was a hot girl with them so I decided to go for it. I left with these kids from Tennessee that I had just met, and after their friend had to kick some asshole out of her car because he was setting it on fire, they took me to Buckhead. There was so much drama unfolding with Hot Girl's crying-ass friend and limiting sleeping space that the girl I followed basically went to bed in another room without saying anything. So I decided to leave, since this shit was lame, and was given directions to the nearest Marta station (Brookhaven, btdubs). Wasted drunk, I somehow managed to remember the directions and marched for 45 minutes in boots, in the freezing cold, at 5 in the morning, calling everyone I knew with cars but getting no answer except Everett, who was on his way to work and wouldn't pick me up. I made it to the station, sipped on my peach vodka while I waited on the train. At Five Points, I realized how insanely sore my legs were, curled up in a ball on the ground, got on the next train. Josh was kind enough to walk to the Inman Park Marta station and walk me back to his house, which was the party I'd left in the first place. I got to make out and pass out in his bed. Obviously I should have trusted my instincts and just never left, but I'm glad for the adventure.
Moral of the story: Forever I love Atlanta.
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| No I'm the basketball |
[19 Oct 2007|12:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
it's the freakin' WEEKEND |
] |
You know what I like more than school? Booze. Let us hope that my antics and utter disinterest in my current classes do not cause me to lose HOPE after this semester. I'd be really flustered if that happened. I can't do college if it's not free, especially now.
I like my tongue ring alot. Fuck the haters.
Pushin' for '08, this shit is played out.
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| Go ninja go ninja go |
[11 Oct 2007|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pleasant |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
crickets |
] |
Willy's boys + Mom + pasta + Athens + whiskey + Kaleb = bliss.
I suck kinda hard at school, and it's annoying how much I don't even care.
I feel good and solid recently. Warm feelings. Clarity.
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| You're being bigotrist |
[03 Sep 2007|01:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Lookin to the Sky, Daddio" mix |
] |
I had a fantastic drunken adventure in the city last night.
I drank with my co-workers on their roof and we rode the train to Five Points. We wandered around the Mariott atrium, wasted as fuck, surrounded by billions of INSANE Dragon Con guests. Someone showed us how to get on the roof, and I got to see the entire beautiful fucking city from the roof of the Mariott.
I heart Atlantuhhhhhhh.
Also, on my way in I ran into Rob. And that shit's funny.
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| Made a date with Divinity but she wouldn't let me fuck her |
[16 Jun 2007|01:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
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trrd coz i been workin |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"High and Dry" mix |
] |
I love me some Wikipedia.
I made a really kick-ass mix CD for my dad for Father's Day and I hope he likes it.
Feeling alot of frustration and powerlessness this week. 'S been slow-going the past few days. Fuck some fucking birth control, man. That shit is annoying. I just want the snippy snippy of the ovaries, or whatever they do.
I want stimulation. I want conversation. I feel trapped in my own head sometimes. I frustrate myself.
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| It's a hard day for breathing again |
[29 May 2007|05:05pm] |
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mood |
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crampy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Stevie Wonder |
] |
I think I have fucking poison oak or chiggers or some shit.
Stevie and I broke up again. Or kind of just finished the break-up we've been working on since December. It hurt really bad when it happened, but I was already really sad and emotional because of my monthly cycle bull shit. I feel pretty okay now. It's time, it's over, it's spent.
I got to go play with the boys at their apartment in Buckhead. We drank beer and flicked bottle caps into the ceiling lamp and talked shit about work and told drug stories. Lots of fun, made me very happy.
And Sagan is back so that = happiness.
Time for changes. Time for new shit. Fun times. Haircut, too.
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| The world is sleeping I am... numb |
[02 May 2007|02:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"19 Reasons To Wait Until Marriage" mix |
] |
You may not know it, but I am making progress. Definitely a fucking mess, but making progress. Life is so so so so beautiful as long as I don't have to think of mine. Life is bigger than here and now. And I appreciate that.
Was fuckin' at work til 1. Sucked ass. But as I scrubbed and scrubbed every crevice of that place where I spend hours and hours of my life, it was easy to remember that there is so much to learn from hard work. Mexicans fucking rock. They just come in, every day, and fucking do their job and don't bitch and just DO it. They never even mull over that it sucks. Who cares if it sucks? It's work. It's life. You do it. Shut up and scrub. SHUT UP AND SCRUB. Beautiful.
Fear me, coz I work hard fo' mah dollars.
And now love for Jason:
Climb up, over the top
Survey the state of the soul
You've got to find out for yourself
Whether or not you're truly trying
Why not
Give it a shot
Shake it, take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you
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| Chill out, whatchu yellin for |
[17 Apr 2007|02:52am] |
|
I kind of miss the basement. I really miss alot of shit. I hate now. I love then.
So the past few days or weeks or whatever... y'know. Easter was really fun and amazing. Ratatat. Stuff. I really do love my house, or "Emily's house" as the kids like to call it. It's mine when I'm stoned and alone and crying in my room, and that's what counts.
It seems so silly when people ask me how I am, how I've been. Because there's no way they actually want to know. I feel so awkward, I don't even know what to say. How am I? How have I been? I am alone and angry and miserable. I have been alone and angry and miserable everyday for the past however many months. I'm okay when I'm okay, but sooner or later it always goes back to me sobbing wildly and falling apart. I cry all the time. Multiple times a day, every day. For months. That's how I am. That's how I've been.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I just keep going, day to day, pausing every few hours or so to bawl my eyes out.
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| Every speed on our knees is crawling |
[28 Dec 2006|03:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Metric |
] |
*hit. head. on. keyboard.*
I did alot of shopping today. I own alot of cute clothes now that I feel extraordinarily guilty about.
I AM RATHER FRUSTRATED BY A NUMBER OF THINGS RIGHT NOW. But mostly just the boredom.
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| No one else can feel it for you |
[26 Dec 2006|01:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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still bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Natasha Bedingfield |
] |
Another movie that never gets old: It's a Wonderful Life. A heart-warming film about all the things that never actually triumph in real life.
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| There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how |
[29 Oct 2006|08:19pm] |
|
What exactly IS a wonderwall, anyway?
Masquerade on Thursday night, there ain't no feeling like the freedom of the dancefloor. Beautiful. Also, I like going out lookin' freaky.
Friday night was THE most drunken night of my life, frat parties and such. I was a pirate. My car was towed, I had to pay alot of money to get it back the next day, that kind of sucked.
Saturday night we went to parties, they may have been fun, I don't know, I freaked out and started crying and had to leave pretty early. I was a pumpkin though, and it was terribly cute.
Today I went to Six Flags with Stevie and we had an amazing time.
I'm falling apart.
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| This party is cold and uninviting |
[25 Oct 2006|06:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus |
] |
My midterm grades are awesome. Too bad I am the laziest fuck EVER and slacking off in everything. Still gonna fail piano.
I continually ache with nostalgia of varying degrees. I can't wrap my brain around the present so I keep getting lost in daydreams of the past. It's like, dude, I don't even know where I am any more. I feel exceedingly distant from my current life, and sometimes it's frustrating. Sometimes it's saddening. Mostly it serves an excuse to blow off my homework.
Six weeks of class left. I'm already that anxious that I have to have the mental countdown going. Sigh. Always so antsy and unsettled. I wish I knew why.
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| I totally did sex with that girl |
[10 Oct 2006|11:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ben Lee |
] |
Kirsten and I watched Space Ghost, and it was hilarious. God I love that shit.
WE WILL NOW FIGHT WITH KNIVES.
I'm always so anxious and unsure and unsatisfied.
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